you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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