she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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