Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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