You made me cry and you don't even care
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
