I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Found your dick twin last night
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Randomize
