New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
