I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
How external is "for external use only"?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Randomize
