I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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