the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
