it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Princesses don't give blow jobs
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
