everyone is single if you try hard enough
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
