ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
