K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
