You work out of a Hotel?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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