What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
