I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
