I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
