I puked a lego.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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