I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
