remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
