words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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