i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
