I faked an abortion last night.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
