I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
