Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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