I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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