hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
