look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
