no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize