I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
How naked do you want me to be?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
