Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
