apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
We need to rekindle our bromance
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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