in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
