Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
