I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
