So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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