Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
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