Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
