The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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