We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Randomize
