I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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