used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
