About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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