Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
