Will you blow on my dice?
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
