So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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