Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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