Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
