i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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