Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize
